I have now been devoted my accelerating my personal evolution for the last year and a half. I did not know exactly where this path I chose would take me, but I knew it was a path I had to walk. What I had going on before wasn’t serving me any longer, and so it was time to take a chance on something new.
Here’s the thing—society has conditioned us to believe that we are inherently deficient, broken, and in need of fixing. Our human nature has been conceptualized as “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short”, and our world as one of “survival of the fittest”.
From the truth of my own personal experience, those conceptualizations are inaccurate. They are one way of conceptualizing human nature and the world, but not the way. I bought into these worldviews for many years and all I got was a lousy life, full of dis-ease, discomfort, and uncertainty. I felt deficient, broken, and in need of fixing.
Given what I knew, I had not considered the possibility that if my worldview wasn’t working for me, well, I can simply change my mind. I don’t have to buy into the western, neoliberal, capitalist worldviews of my humanity – I can find another perspective, try it on, and see if it sits any lighter in my being.
What I’ve discovered is that our reality, all of it, is made up of opinions. That’s right. Everything we think we know and all the truths presented as facts –mere opinions.
Consider this –the same information/dataset when analyzed and theorized by two different people with different philosophies will yield drastically different results. Take for example how the nominalization of “pain” might be conceptualized by a Christian versus a Buddhist. The nominalization has not changed –our understanding about it has, and therefore so has our experience of it.
As for the driver of the western God, the same science that requires it to make conclusions also shows us that objectivity is a mere illusion, for the mere act of observation alters behaviours at a sub-atomic level. It’s fascinating stuff that I don’t pretend to be able to understand.
But here’s what I deduce from it for myself: it gives me permission to see the deeply entrenched “facts” of our Western world merely as opinions. It gives me permission to interpret what I have been taught so far, by my family, by school, by culture, by whatever other institution that sustains itself by perpetuating its worldview upon groups and individuals, as well-established and sustained opinions that the collective has come to accept as unquestionable truth. I know that this does not have to be my reality…and it isn’t.
Allopathic medicine, for example, would have me believe that if it hurts, then it’s wrong/bad and therefore I must do the right tests and seek out the correct experts to analyze that specific part (as though we’re not holistic beings!) while rendering me a victim to my circumstances because after all I did not chose IBS or depression or anxiety or anger or addiction but it chose me and so they will fix the wrong with potent drugs or psychotherapy or retelling and reliving the story while continuously shutting the calls of my body down. The more intense the body’s demands, the more there’s wrong with me.
How fucking exhausting.
This paradigm of the world no longer serves me, and so, with gratitude for what it has taught me, I chose to let it go. I chose a different reality for myself.
- I am not a victim of circumstance; I am a co-creator of my reality.
- I am not a meatbag full of organs and hormones and habits; I am a spiritual being.
- I do not have a body whose motive is to hurt me; I have a brilliant body that communicates with me.
- I am not doomed to repeat my past; I am the choice point.
And as the choice point, I chose breath.
The more I learn about the functions of the body, the more I am fascinated with it’s absolute brilliance. Take for example, our excuisite nervous system. It has stored in it every detail of every bit of information of everything that has ever happened to me in my entire life. With it’s own innate intelligence, it constantly communicates with me the truth of it’s experience. I believe the body remembers and it has no ulterior motives when communicating with us. It is not intending to hurt us or cause us distress; instead, it is simply looking for congruency and integration.
So now, when I experience a trigger or a wave, I chose to trust it.
Instead of labeling it good/bad/right/wrong I simply experience it as my body communicating with me, as information flowing through me. My only job is to breathe, make sure my body stays as relaxed as possible, as open as possible…and that is how I rewire the patterning of the nervous system! I do not shut it down, constrict it, label it, judge it, or create countless stories around it. My only role is to get out of it’s way. That means stop what I’m doing, get comfortable, allow my intellect to focus on relaxing and opening the body, and consciously breathe.
This is how the old patterns of the nervous system get interrupted.
This is how I’ve found sustainable healing.
The simplicity of it is astounding. KISS (keep it simple, stupid), anyone? Just breathe! Not bizarre or foreign, but in world where we are taught to restrain our breathing, hold our bellies in, hold our breath in, breathe quietly, breathe shallowly…make ourselves small so we take up little space and upset no one…breathing well eventually becomes a foreign, complicated task. I’ve noticed this in my yoga teacher training where so many people hold their bellies in on the exhale! I know that I, for one, had forgotten how to consciously breathe and have spent years chosing to relearn.
Thank you, Kundalini yoga, Eastern philosophies, and pranayama (breath meditation). A very special thank you must go to the women who engage with me in transformational, potent and powerful conversations as per the WEL-Systems Institute perspective.
Through the breath, I have discovered that I am whole, unique, and essential to my world. I am a Godforce. I am light. I am space. I am not just part of the universe; I AM the universe, interconnected and intertwined with all.
And so is every living force on this planet, and beyond. (From these Godforce eyes, how can anyone possibly chose hate, or discrimination, or war, or violence, or self-hate, or indignities of any kind to any living being?)
So, with that paradigm in mind:
- What if I chose alignment of the heart of the mind and the heart of heart?
- What if I chose to create a reality for myself that feels light in my body and shatters all illusions?
- What if I chose to align with my Truth and trust that life will unfold exactly as it should?
- What if I chose to live a life as unapologetically me?
- What if I chose to remember myself as whole, essential, unique?
- What if I chose to love myself, meaning respect, integrity and generosity of spirit?
- What if I choose to have a deeply intimate relationship with myself, first and foremost?
- What if I chose to allow my body to process what it knows so well to process –not only food, but also energy as information?
- What if I chose to allow my “pain” to exist, without labels, without allowing it consume me?
- What if I chose to chose with every breath, allowing myself the ability to change my mind?
- What if I choose to take up all the space that is mine?
- What if I choose to validate my wounds and hurts, allowing the shame/guilt/anger/resentments to leave my body?
- What if I choose to stay awake to all that is unfolding out there, and still chose evolution of self for its own sake?
- What if I chose to let go?
- What if I chose to live from a space that feels sacred?
Nothing to do with religion or dogma or an external God as reference point – just me, myself, and I, choosing a life that feels sacred.
How amazing is that?!
Useful Resources to Connect with Conscious Breathing.
- Guided Reflections –Awakening the Body : Great meditations to help you connect with your body and breath.
- Guided Reflections – Energy & The Chakras
- Guided Reflections –Life is a Choice
- Get Insight Timer on your phone and play around with the meditations. Chose from yoga nidra (for relaxation or sleep), gratitude meditations, pranayama meditations, long deep breathing meditations, earth-breath meditations…).
- Listen to 432 hz meditations. I hear good things! I personally prefer nature sounds, especially water…
- Find a Buddhist temple near you and go to their talks and meditations.
- Do a Kundalini yoga class –or whatever yoga your prefer. Just make sure the teacher’s focus in on the breath –otherwise, you miss the whole point of yoga.
- Chant! There is such amazing music out there. Look up spirit voyage on YouTube for full meditations, or listen to people like Snatan Kaur or Nirinjan Kaur. Love them!
- Go to a meditation circle — practices solidify when done with other people. Bonus: Get to meet awesome people.
- Read! Books such as …
I recommend just getting started. Soon as you do, you’ll discover what works for you. The only way to peel the layers of the onion is to stay engaged. It’s a fascinating lifelong journey!
PS – if you’re curious about the WEL-Systems and what in the world this profoundly transformative program I keep ranting about is, download this episode of The Unplugged Podcast into your phone and …just listen. These two incredible women are my favorite role models!
Art by an incredible local artist: Alberto Grasso.